


When I Don't Remember You

by fizzinq



Category: Steven Universe - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Gen, PTSD, Violence, gun - Freeform, idfk, idk there's a gun in there somewhere man, mental illness mention, shitty wording
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-15
Updated: 2016-06-15
Packaged: 2018-07-15 04:27:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7207805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fizzinq/pseuds/fizzinq
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>dumb angsty shit. hahaha help.</p><p>also there are some sentences in here that i couldn't get to sound right no matter what i tried so i apologize for the childlike writing at some points lol</p><p>im 90% sure that none of the other oc owners have accounts on here so<br/>rainbow obsidian belongs to me<br/>taaffeite belongs to my girlfriend<br/>and andesine belongs to a friend of ours</p>
            </blockquote>





	When I Don't Remember You

__

marceline -  
is it just you and me in the wreckage of the world ?  
that must be so confusing for a little girl .  
and i know you’re going to need me here with you ,  
but i’m losing myself and i’m afraid you’re gonna lose me too .

It had been a while since Taaffeite had first found Rainbow Obsidian, crouching in the prickly bushes of Beach City, gem cracked in numerous places from regeneration after regeneration with no one to heal him. Now, though. Rainbow Obsidian was learning. Learning how to fight, learning how to walk again, how to talk again. His walking around the earth had been automatic, and with his cracked gem, he could barely hear a thing. He still spoke with a slur and had a limited vocabulary, but… He was trying. He was almost Taaffeite’s shadow, at this point, following the plum-colored gem around no matter where he went. He only ran when he was told to run, and never left without an attempt to get his teacher away from the danger they were facing at the time. But, of course, there were some dangers you could never get away from.

__

this magic keeps me alive ,  
but it’s making me crazy  
and i need to save you ,  
but who’s going to save me ?

This danger was not something that tracked Taaffeite down. Then again, it didn’t need to - it always stuck there, plaguing him from his brain, always excited to jump to action and make the gem it affected writhe in misery. The disease some called Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD.  
Though it may not seem it, Taaffeite was a victim of this terrible memory; being alive so long wasn’t the best for him. He had fought valiantly for Homeworld during the Gem War, previously a ruthless general, set on crushing every one of those Crystal Gems, even if it killed him. But what he didn’t know then was what would affect him soon after. At the drop of a hat - well, more like a weight, memories would come flooding back, and he’d become distant. In his mind, he was back on Homeworld in the arms of the enemy, thrashing and screaming to get out of their hold and off them once and for all. Other times, he was out there, shattering and killing gem after gem to lead his authority to victory. But that wasn’t what happened. When did what he want to happen ever happen? Homeworld ended up with several more casualties than Rose Quartz’s army, and a loss all the same. He was frustrated at this, and every so often, would express it. Though eventually, he did break away from Yellow Diamond and fly to Earth, along with another war gem named Andesine, and join the Crystal Gems in their blissful innocence and ignorance. It seemed better than being constantly watched by the Authority. The Authority had a big brother complex, always watching citizens, making sure they did no wrong, and delivering punishment if they stepped out of line. It was a harsh society, and Taaffeite realized that. In rebellion, he flew to Earth, and remained there… Though memories of that massacre still remained in his brain.

__

please forgive me for whatever i do  
when i don’t remember you .

Now, since Rainbow Obsidian constantly followed Taaffeite around and did what he did, this led to a lot of… Accidents. Taaffeite was cleaning his room at the time, neatening things up and the like. Of course, Rainbow Obsidian wanted to prove himself to the general gem he followed around, prove himself to be strong, helpful, a generally good gem. But Rainbow Obsidian never had much time to lift heavy things, so he wasn’t as strong as he should be. He saw a book of war strategies and the like (though the PTSD was a factor, Taaffeite was still a war nerd), and thought he could help by taking it off of the dusty table it was resting on. He tried to pick it up off the table, and it immediately… Fell out of his fingers.  
The reaction was immediate. Taaffeite heard the loud thump the book made when it hit the ground, and stayed completely still. He stared into a corner of the room, mouth slightly agape, and said and did nothing. He eventually, however, dropped the gun he was cleaning, which luckily wasn’t loaded, and turned around to look at Rainbow Obsidian, who was now… Cowering. His eyes were distant, in another place. In the battlefield.

__

marceline -  
i can feel myself slipping away .  
i can’t remember what it made me say .  
but i remember that i saw you frown  
i swear, it wasn’t me, it was the c r o w n .

In the rainbow gem’s place, he did not see an ally, but an enemy, a soldier under Rose Quartz’s rule, sitting there weakened and raising their weapon. Taaffeite immediately summoned his back (from the floor, of course) and pointed it at the “soldier,” a tight grip on the gun, aiming right for his head. There was a cold look in his eyes. Distant, but still cold. Rainbow Obsidian only backed up farther, whining and blocking his face. Surely Taaffeite would snap out of it before then… Right..?

this magic keeps me alive ,  
but it’s making me crazy  
and i need to save you,  
but who’s going to save me ?

But no. Taaffeite did not snap out of it, he did not come back to reality. Instead, he aimed, and pulled the trigger at a now screaming and crying Rainbow Obsidian, a bullet going straight into his head as he poofed. But the general wasn’t done yet, oh no.  
He walked over, heavy boots thumping against the wooden floor as he lowered his gun and stared down at the gem. He muttered something in a language incomprehensible to the poor being who was trapped in his gem, still sobbing all the same… Until something hit it. Yes, Taaffeite was… Trying to shatter the gem with his heel. And he was succeeding. He repeatedly stomped on it, until it was cracked in half, and only went from there. He waited until the gem was… Just about dust, before he “moved on.”

please, forgive me for whatever i do  
when i don’t remember you .

It wasn’t long before Andesine, a gem that had came to Earth with Taaffeite, came into the room, hearing the thump and the gunshot. He didn’t even notice the shattered gem on the floor. Instead, he came straight to Taaffeite’s aid, telling him that it was only a flashback, nothing was happening. He got Taaffeite to name five things he could see around him, and by three, Taaffeite was out of it. After taking deep breaths and calming himself, he turned around and saw something that… Wasn’t so calming.  
The Rainbow Obsidian gem was cracked and broken on the floor, with shards tracking towards him.  
Him.  
He killed one of his best friends in a flashback.  
He killed an ally.  
He killed Rainbow Obsidian.  
Of course, at that, he didn’t know what to do. He shook in his boots before he slowly got onto his knees, trying to get all of the pieces together again - but they were too small. He couldn’t see where they went, and there was no one there to help heal the gem both Taaffeite and Andesine called a little brother.  
Rainbow Obsidian was… Gone forever.  
Gone forever.  
Gone.  
He took the pieces into his gloved hands and held them, trying to shove them back in a pile like a snowball and put them back together one last time, before taking all of the pieces together in his fists, bringing them to the bridge of his nose, and letting himself go. He couldn’t help it. They pricked at his eyes painfully, stabbed in his throat. He didn’t like the feeling, and everyone around him he trusted to keep secrets about this, so he just… Let go.

please forgive me for whatever i do  
when i don’t remember you .


End file.
